Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
