btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ugly people sure do ruin things
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
