Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
