I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
