This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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