yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
