It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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