I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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