he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
