She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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