Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
