Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
