so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
