How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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