just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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