There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
