Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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