More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
