I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
