I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
