Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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