Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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