i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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