Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
