shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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