no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
