Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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