He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
