I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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