New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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