bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
