i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
