ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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