Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
