True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
