I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
