I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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