you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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