but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
