It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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