hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
