I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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