yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
