I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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