So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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