I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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