I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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