White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
