God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
