Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
