I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
