she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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