apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
