if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
