He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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