You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
