I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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