Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize