And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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