The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
