Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
