Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Randomize