thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize