problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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